This Is My Life Starring Moss Jervins

Everybody's favorite forgotten star of screens large and small, and also now those plasma screens and satellites and so forth. That's me—I'm the favorite forgotten star etc. I now have this wonderful BLOG and I have turned over a new leaf and want to tell you about my new life and I also want to hear about YOURS but please be nice.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

The Socratic Method

—Before we begin cleaning your teeth in just a moment, I want to read you today’s special words: allow, friend, self, image. Today’s special sentence, created from these words, is: Allow your friends to create your self-image. Do you have any questions before we start?


—Do you remember when, as a child, you would read in the car at night, your parents in the front seat? You would try to read a sentence whenever the car passed under a streetlamp. Stopping at a red light was an outrageous luxury: You could finish a whole paragraph sometimes. You’d finish entire books this way, as your parents drove on. Where were they going? Why did you think it was normal that there should be so much traveling by night?

—[Gurgles. Raises eyebrows in alarm.]

—Have you noticed that all babies have Brooklyn accents?

—[No response.]

—Walking along the beach, the sand silver from the sea, we noticed that seaweed had left delicate impressions before being pulled back by the waves. We’d never seen this before. OK. Now this might sting a bit. Do you want bubblegum or mint?

—[Nods vaguely.]

—Later we walked along the canyon on a paved trail. Cracks had been caulked over in black. The lines branched wildly, like diagrams of sentences out of Proust,

—[Drifts to sleep.]

—You have a cavity the size of the San Ysidro Valley. Microbes are snapping up real estate.

—[Eyes widen. Nostrils flare.]


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6:57 PM  
Blogger Moss Jervins said...

Joe, I already have a BA and an MFA (in ceramics) — I don't need your crappy degrees, got it?

Sorry, Joe. Am in a bad mood. Rosie got the "View" gig. Dunno. Was hoping my agent had thrown my hat in the ring.

8:41 AM  

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